20th August 2019 — hansent
Write a short story
This story is dedicated to Jeremy
The bird ran super fast. I couldn’t see his feet at all. The bad coyote had set up a trap to catch the bird. I tried to concentrate on the moment. The coyote had dug a hole in the middle of the road, and covered it up. My heart raced as the bird speed closer and closer to the coyote’s trap! “meep meep!” The bird was running so fast that he ran straight over the bobbie-trap and just continued along the road! Instead the coyote had begun to think that his trap had been flawed, so he jumped on it re-thinking his ability and instead fell into the hole himself. I decided coyote’s are dumb, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Hi Tana,
Something to watch out for is your grammar and punctuation. There are a few minor errors in this piece. It is important that you learn to catch these and correct them so they don’t negatively impact your writing.
You also need to work on changing up your sentence starters. You are starting every sentence with either, “I…” or “The…” It is important that you create greater variety in your writing so that you can allow you reader to immerse themselves in your story on a deeper level.
Thank you
Mr Johnson